'Ah, but there are three hundred and sixty four unbirthdays!'

I traveled to London over the weekend for my birthday, and I know I travel to London a lot but I don't usually stay over so it felt like a real treat! It was all a bit last minute so I wasn't really sure what to do outside of shows I had booked, but I had a lot of fun.

I went to the Tate Britain a few months ago and absolutely loved it, and was kind of hoping to do something that would inspire me like that again and recapture that feeling, so I decided to go to the Tate Modern. I know, it's in the name, but I thought I'd been before and liked it, but I guess I got it mixed up with another gallery. There's some stuff that falls under the banner of 'modern art' that I really love such as surrealism (René Magritte is one of my all time favorite artists) and I guess that's the kind of thing I was hoping for, but it was predominantly the type of modern art that I really hate and I spent the whole time stomping through the exhibits and pouting. Modern art is pretentious, classist, ableist (and often racist) garbage, purely made so rich people can feel smug about how much smarter they are because they 'get it'. And it makes me genuinely angry as someone with an arts degree who is struggling to make it in the illustration industry, an industry that's becoming less and less viable even for my friends who are already well established within it and are having to get part time jobs to make ends meet because illustration is becoming more and more devalued. Knowing full well that I and many other illustrators pour hours and hours into a single piece, while some white person with a trust fund goes dumpster diving and applies some bs fake woke meaning to whatever trash they find and it gets lapped up by all of the other yuppies and they pay thousands for it. It makes me so mad because it's so unfair! And it just proves that art isn't about skill or hard work, it's about connections and class. So yeah, I don't like modern art and it ended up feeling like a big waste of time. They did have one Magritte and one Dali so that was nice, but definitely not worth traveling all of that way for!

Instead I decided to go back into the city center and spent my time browsing all of the book shops and record stores. I used to be really into record collecting and had almost 1000 of them at one point, but then I sold them all and it paid for me to go to New York and see 4 shows on Broadway which put the hobby into perspective. But for the past couple of months I haven't been able to walk by an HMV store without going in to touch the MCR records wistfully, and I kind of want to get back into it. Not like I used to, it became a really toxic part of my life where I was getting lectured and patronized by old men on the internet and I felt like I had to have the 'right' pressings and collect the 'right' musicians to be seen as a valid part of the community. Musical taste is something so deeply personal, and mine is kind of eclectic and not very expansive and I hated being made to feel guilty for that when I just wanted to hyperfocus on my favorite bands. Purging myself of that whole collection and the performance it had become felt so therapeutic, even more so by using that money to do something I'd always wanted. I never intended for my record collection and dress style to become my entire personality (and also why I barely post outfit photos anymore despite the fact I still love dressing up!) and I really came to resent absolutely everything about it, and it's only recently that I've been able to recover from that and rediscover some of these interests again on my own terms.

It's something I've been thinking about a lot recently, and now I'm getting into Elvis I just feel like it's time. I don’t even own a record player at the moment, but there’s just something so compelling about collecting physical media of your favorite things. And really it’s not just the vinyl itself, but the artwork and the sleeve and the whole experience. So I decided to just go for it on a bit of a whim, and it's honestly made me so happy and I'm really excited to get back into this, and just buy the stuff that means the absolute world to me. And these are what I got in London!

As for shows, I saw The Phantom of the Opera on my actual birthday (of course I did!), and I originally was hoping to see Wicked too but because it was last minute and a Saturday the seats were not good so I decided to do something a bit different and went for a play instead and saw Life Of Pi. I've never read the book it's based on, only seen the movie and that was so long ago I'd forgotten most of the gist of it but I really liked it a lot! There's a lot of puppetry and light effects so I really got lost in it. I did keep expecting them to sing though.

Time may change me but I can't trace time

I originally wanted to make a little 'photo a day' type post as they're something I really love looking back on, but then some days I kept forgetting to take pictures and other days I took too many, so I guess this turned into more of a 'random things I got up to last week' kind of post.

I've really gotten into Lego, but I'm trying to hold off of building my kits because of plans. But I figured two little flowers couldn't hurt, and I had a lot of fun putting them together. I really love a lot of the botanicals range Lego has been releasing, and as someone who really sucks at looking after plants they feel like a fun alternative. I also love how well these fit in with my decor, sunflowers are my favorite flower as you may be able to tell.

After I spent a few days with my sewing machine my room was covered in scraps of fabric and bits of thread as I'm always in such rush to hurry through it as quickly as possible because it takes over my entire workspace which is stressful. So giving my room a deep clean afterwards is one of the best feelings in the world, and I just love how cozy my space looks when everything is in its place.

After the machine sewing was done I had some final hand sewing to finish things up nicely, such as the buttons. So I spent an evening clearing some movies from my watchlist while I got it all done before I had a chance to procrastinate it forever. 

Hans arrived! Prince Hans in his coronation suit was the only doll I was missing from my Frozen collection, and because he's less popular and kids don't have taste enough to want him he's really rare which means expensive. I've had it on my eBay alerts for years so saw him as soon as he was listed. He was the cheapest I've ever seen, and described as "well played with" with grainy photos so honestly I was expecting the worst, but he's literally perfect and I couldn't be happier to finally welcome him. 

I saw Elvis at the cinema, and omg. I only really went for Baz Luhrmann as he's one of my favorite directors so I didn't know much about Elvis before going in, and learning about some of the history behind his career was quite shocking. I had no idea he was taken advantage of so much by his manager, and it was so sad seeing him be so emotionally manipulated and exploited. Elvis is such a legendary figure that it feels weird to say that he was held back, but he really was and I can't help but wonder what kind of status he might now hold if he'd had the freedom in his career that he so wanted. For example it absolutely boggles my mind to learn that he never even performed outside of the US - ever. So many times throughout this movie I was mentally begging Elvis to lawyer up, but then I had to remind myself that it was a completely different, more naive time and celebrity of Elvis's status was literally brand new and no one knew what they were doing. Although I've always liked old music and was aware of Elvis on a cultural level, I've never really taken any notice of him either and like a lot of younger generations tend to just associate him with bad impersonators and the tackiness of Vegas. Add to that how much he gets clowned in popular media and he never really felt like anything to take seriously so it was difficult to understand his impact. This movie is far from perfect, but it's made me really interested in the real Elvis, and I love that it showed the human side to him to introduce a whole new generation to his work. Plus I've discovered that his elder fans are some of the most patient and welcoming I've ever met, which is a lot more than I can say about fans of other classic rock bands honestly.

Anyway, I guess I get to have an Elvis phase now as he's occupied about 80% of my brain since seeing the movie. Stay tuned to watch a hyperfocus play out in real time!

I got a half year planner to start a draw everyday challenge. I felt inspired by a video where an artist used a planner and you could see where she'd skipped days because the page was blank which felt like a good way to keep myself accountable. I'm using the Hobonichi Techo Avec as it's small enough to carry round with me everywhere and nothing bleeds through the thin paper, not even watercolor. I'm trying not to be too fussy about what I put in it so long as I draw something, even if it's ugly. I've been in a real bad art block for over a year now, and I remember back when I did the whole of Inktober in 2019 it really opened the creative floodgates so I'm hoping this will have a similar effect.

I also had to break out and sharpen a brand new col-erase, which may not look like much but these pencils are really hard to get hold of in Europe so I bought a handful of them when I went to New York so they feel special and have a romantic attachment to that trip for me. And after 2+ years of a pandemic that romantic attachment has only grown stronger and made me even more determined to get back there someday.

Who gets stuck with all the bad luck? No one... but Donald Duck

I'm proud to say that I made this dress! And that's not something I say often about my own projects to be honest. I sew, but I don't think I've ever enjoyed it. Maybe I would if I had a dedicated sewing space, but for me any sewing project ends up taking over my whole living space until it's finished, and as a naturally tidy person who likes everything to be in its place it becomes chaos and it's not something I feel like doing very often. And I think because of this it often shows in my work as I just want to get it over with as quickly as possible!

I bought this fabric from Tomato in Nippori, the fabric district of Tokyo. Donald Duck, Chip, and Dale are my favorites of the classic Disney characters, especially in the old cartoons where they're tormenting each other, so I knew I needed this fabric as soon as I saw it. Unfortunately it was the end of the bolt and a random amount, so I hoarded it away until I could think of something that could make the most of the comic panel design. And I honestly forgot about it until I was looking through my fabric box for any lining fabric for my skirt below, but as soon as I saw it I wanted to make something while I already had my machine out. And I'm so happy with how it came out!

I completely winged the whole thing, and it's total dumb luck that it even worked and fit me properly. Obviously it's irreplaceable as it's from Japan so I don't know why I was so careless with the fabric. but I guess sometimes it works not to overthink it. I knew I wanted a sweetheart neckline bodice with tie straps so I drafted that out, then just cut big rectangles out of what was left for the skirt. The tiny scraps were then patchworked together to become the interfacing, so literally every piece of the fabric was used. And I spent absolutely no time trying it on or fitting it before it was finished. But it worked! Dumb luck! And it's now my favorite dress!

I felt like the bust needed something. I was originally thinking maybe an anchor button for Donald, or an acorn for Chip n Dale, but I already owned these wooden ones which I also picked up in Tomato. I really like the brown and orange color scheme of the fabric, so I thought these better brought that out. Same with the belt, I'm not using it to hide any fitting issues, I just really like how the brown pairs with the print. I'm really pleased with the zipper on the back too - I bought it at the same time as the fabric and always planned for them to go together. It's not an exact match, but close enough and still Disney that I think it works. If you can't go all out on a Disney dress, then when can you??

And this is the much less fun but super practical skirt I originally got my sewing machine out for. I'd never made a circle skirt before which feels like a really weird basic to have missed out on, but I'll probably be making a ton more now I know just how easy it is. Look, it even has pockets!! I put them in both sides, and cut them out around my phone so it fits in all the way which I felt very smart for thinking of. I've been looking for a brown mini skirt to have as a basic that I can wear with anything for ages. I didn't think this was a big ask but I couldn't find anything suitable anywhere until I stumbled across this rusty color checked wool. Sometimes you've just got to do everything yourself, and it's these moments I'm really glad that I can. In the space of two days I knocked up two whole garments that I absolutely love and could never have bought anywhere, and I'm so ridiculously proud of that!

Is that the magic music from beyond the laughing sky?

When I went to Disneyland Paris back in 2019 I was very conscious of how I documented my trip as it's something I've over done in the past and ruined my own time by doing so - I've been so wrapped up in getting enough photos to remember it just right, instead of simply living in that moment and soaking it up. And I guess I must have gotten the balance exactly right as it's one of the best trips I've ever had! To ease myself out of feeling like I have to photograph everything just in case, some days I took my vintage film camera with me and nothing else. There's nothing quite like knowing you've only got 30 shots and no idea how they'll turn out! I did two reels of film, one an expired color and another black and white, but due to getting ready to move and then the whole craziness of the pandemic I didn't get around to developing them until now. And honestly I'm glad I waited, as with everything that's happened since that trip has only become more important to me, and getting to see something brand new from it is so exciting.

I figured I may as well split each film up into it's own post. My camera is an Olympus OM-10 SLR, and I'd be lying if I pretended I knew much about it. I'm not a photographer, I just enjoy taking photos, so there's a lot of pressing the shutter and just blindly hoping for the best. This was the color film which was expired, and I'm obsessed with how it's given the photos a dreamy 1970s vibe.

I'm Not Okay (I Promise)

I've had such a crazy busy week, but it's been so much fun! On Monday I travelled to London to see Phantom of the Opera again, I think it's the third time this year so far? I've really been making the most of seeing my favorite shows as much as I can while I can! And it was my first time seeing the alternate Christine which made the show a little different, although it confirmed that I prefer Lucy St Louis's interpretation as I feel like it's more Leroux book accurate. But that's such a personal thing and all it comes down to, they're both perfect. There were quite a few other covers on too for various roles, it's always fun trying to spot who's stepped into which role.

And then on Thursday I travelled to Milton Keynes to see My Chemical Romance!! OMG!! I am now a Milton Keynes hate account and there were some other aspects of the day that just really brought the mood down, but I'm just so so happy that I got to see my favorite band live! I really didn't think I was going to be able to, but then other plans got delayed and there were still tickets available and it just all felt like serendipity. I got the VIP package as it was either that or the nosebleeds, so I ended up with the exclusive merch package and priority entry which meant I was 2nd row from barrier which was surreal - I was standing about 5 meters directly in front of Frank for most of the show!

I am a lonely painter, I live in a box of paints

I was determined do something a bit different in London yesterday, as I've fallen into the habit of visiting the same haunts every time I go which is getting a bit predictable. I felt like going to a gallery and picked the Tate Britain, which I didn't have very high hopes for as I found the National Gallery so incredibly dull the last time I was there, but the Tate was incredible! I loved it! They had so many famous paintings that I was really excited to see in real life, like Ophelia, and my favorite painting The Doctor which I first saw in a gallery but could never remember which to see it again. And now I know it was this one!

I've been struggling so much with my illustration work this past year and it just felt really special to feel so excited by art again, and I got some books I'm really excited about in the gift shop too. One is general advice for artists, the other is about sketchbook practice, both are no doubt full of stuff I already know but need reminding of just the same. They felt really special in my hands too, like I was supposed to find them and I'm excited about what I might learn from them.

I also saw Frozen, and it's the most I've enjoyed a show in a long time, I just felt really engaged with it. I love this show and have seen it several times now (including on Broadway), and I love it just as much if not more every time. It was the same cast as usual, with the exception of Hans who was played by the cover who was wonderful!! My biggest and really only complaint with the musical is how Hans is made out to be this plotting villain throughout, whereas this actor played him much more earnestly like he is in the movie, so I was thrilled with that (Hans is my favorite character, and I have a whole essay explaining why) His timing in the reveal scene was also so much better - he actually paused between leaning in to kiss Anna and dropping the "if only there was someone who loved you" and let that sit for a moment instead of just rushing through his lines as fast as he can 🙃 Definitely the best Hans!

Vampires will never hurt you

I think Whitby might be one of my very favorite places in the whole world. It's so beautiful and just has a vibe unlike any place I've ever been, although I admit I don't know how much of that is the Dracula stuff because I love vampires. It's a really old seaside town in Yorkshire, England, and was mostly known for it's fishing. Then Bram Stoker came along and decided that the crumbling Abbey on top of the cliff would be a great setting for a little vampire book he was writing, and ever since the town has been associated with Dracula. And I don't know if it is just the rich history of the place, but somehow it manages to do it with class instead of going the tacky route and it gives it a real atmosphere. It's easy to imagine vampires wandering the cobbled streets among the tourists.

Whitby is also famous for it's jet gemstones, which is black and only adds to the town's goth vibes. My parents used to own a gemstone shop when I was a teenager and I'd work there on weekends, and ever since then I've always been inexplicably drawn to jet. It's really a very boring stone to look at compared to the magnificence of something like opal or even bright shards of amethyst, but there's just something about it that calls me. It washes up on the beach here (although it's kind of hard to find because everyone is out treasure hunting) and the streets are full of little locally owned jewelers selling their hand crafted designs. This was my third time I've ever been to Whitby, and I buy myself a little something each time I come. I have a celtic design necklace, a ring, and this time I decided to go big and treated myself to a pendant that I felt really symbolizes the town.

Before Dracula Whitby was known for it's fishing heritage. You can see St Mary's Church on top of the cliff in the background, and the beach where Dracula's ship washed ashore.






Climbing the 199 steps up to the church and Abbey





I'd never been inside the Abbey before, and it was a lot bigger than I was expecting! It's a hundreds of years old ruin so obviously there's not much, but it's still really impressive to look around. It was founded in 657 AD, until it was raided by Danish invaders in 867 AD and left to ruin for 200 years. It was rebuilt as a Benedictine Abbey in the 1220s, until it was destroyed in 1540 due to the Protestant reforms under Henry VIII. It then sustained further damage due to German shell attacks during WWI.

The gift shop is predominantly Dracula related, and I struggled not to buy a few of those beautiful books! I couldn't resist a few bits though.


Time to look at every single black stone on the beach just in case. I did manage to find a few chunks of jet though!