I always forget how awkward the first post on a new blog is!! This is something I've wanted to do for a while, I miss sharing bits and pieces of my life online. I'm always a little nervous as blogs are so polished nowadays and everyone is trying to be a brand and that's just not my vibe, but I wanna get back to how it used to be.
I always feel like I'm on the outside looking in with social media, I struggle to join in conversations without feeling like I'm butting in and it's difficult to build lasting friendships as everyone else always seems like they're friends already and I'm never sure how I fit in with it all. I've become really guarded, over silly, superficial things, and I want this blog to be a way of forcing myself to break down these walls that I've built, and recapture how I felt about blogging pre 2012 when you could just capture a moment and it was enough for the novelty of your photo being posted somewhere on the internet. Especially as this past year I've really been trying to re-immerse myself in my interests. I'm happy again, but I want to use that word gently because I know how fragile it is. This is one of my favorite quotes, which I think sums up this whole feeling pretty perfectly:
“The most important things are the hardest to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them -- words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they're brought out. But it's more than that, isn't it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you've said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That's the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a teller but for want of an understanding ear.”- Stephen King, The Body
