Where do the clouds disappear When they go rolling by?

We lit the fire and it's burning bright

I've been really struggling with drawing lately, I guess it's just regular art block but it's hard as my illustration is so important to me and it feels like a big part of myself is missing. Also the longer it's gone on, the more it feels like my imagination has dried up with it and I don't even know what to draw anymore! I thought I'd do some kind of drawing challenge this month to finish up my current sketchbook quickly as I've been using the same one for a year (I usually get through a sketchbook every 6 months!) and I'm just ready to be done with it and move on to a new one. But while I was coming up with ideas for the prompts I kept thinking 'I'll draw that in the new sketchbook once this one is finished' which is dumb and made me realize that maybe I just need to be done with this sketchbook right now, finished or not. I like the art that's in it so far, but it feels stupid to fill the rest of it with mediocre drawings I don't care about just for some pride of being able to say I completed it when all I want is a fresh start.

I was planning on buying a new sketchbook when I go to London next week to see Frozen, but it feels like so long to wait when I want to draw right now! I use Leuchtturm1917 sketchbooks which I could get on Amazon, but Leuchtturm have recently changed them so I was hoping that if I picked one out in person then I might be able to find an older model. I'm still going to check for that when I do go to London, but it turns out I could only get one of the newer ones anyway but I decided it was better than nothing, especially as I'd travelled 70 miles just to get to the art shop. It felt like a lot of fun going on such a trek for one little item though, and turned it into an adventure.

I ended up really liking the changes to the sketchbook, go figure. I got some screentones back when I lived in Japan, but I never really used them as I don't draw in a comic book style so I wasn't sure how to incorporate them, and most of my attempts made the tones look barely noticeable so it felt like a waste of time. I was fumbling around for a background for another drawing when I suddenly remembered I had these, and now I figured it out I've been having a lot of fun with them!

We've been having a lot of storms across Europe lately, and today it snowed which always makes me feel like a little kid again and I have to go out and walk in it. It always quickly turns to slush, so it's never a threat and you have to make the most of it while you can. I've been spending a lot of cozy time indoors with my sketchbook and journals and plenty of soup as it's just too miserable to go anywhere.

Also my Hobonichi arrived! I'm so excited for this stupid little book, you have no idea. I'd heard of Hobonichi for a while, I even flicked through one when I lived in Japan and saw a display of them, but to me it just looked like a fairly boring planner and I didn't get it. But I have enjoyed creative journaling for a few years now, so I guess it was inevitable that I'd end up here eventually. I watch Abbey Sy and she spoke of her A6 cover which inspired me to check out the website, and as soon as I saw this Count the Lights design I absolutely fell in love with it. Unfortunately it was sold out, but I managed to find one on a random website in Taiwan. It came as a set with the planner, originally I just wanted the cover but as it was the only way to get it I wasn't going to turn it down. And I'm actually really enjoying the planner so far! I wasn't sure what I'd do with it at first as I already have a planner and a journal for this year, but I decided I'm not going to be too fussy about it and just write whatever in it each day. A quote from a book I'm reading, thoughts on a movie I've watched, blog post ideas, illustration thumbnails, just kind of a brain dump but organized in a way that I'll want to look back on for the memories. And I'm really enjoying it so far.

Shut up and let me see your jazz hands

There's this leather jacket on the My Chemical Romance webstore that I've been umming and ahhing over for the longest time. I liked the jacket, but to be honest I'd kind of remembered it differently and preferred my imaginary version to what was actually available, so surely it couldn't be that hard to just thrift a jacket and paint on it myself, right?

Leaves are fallin' down on the beautiful ground

You fell in love with a vampire, torch up for the empire

Although I've played The Sims for years, it was only ever very casually up until just this year. It was always a game I liked, but I never really realized it's potential until YouTube began recommending me Sims videos out of the blue and I saw just what the game had to offer. Of course I then began collecting the various expansion kits, although I always swore off the more supernatural ones as although I like that stuff I felt like I preferred a more realistic game play. Until last month anyway, when I was in the Halloween spirit and bought the Vampires pack on a whim!

I love vampires, they're my favorite supernatural entity and always have been since I first saw Bela Lugosi swirling his cape as Dracula. Recently I've been revisiting the vampire stories I'd missed, a big one being Interview With The Vampire which I loved and can't wait to start my way through the books as soon as I'm done with my current read! So I've been in more of a vampire mood than usual lately, and combined with the stereotypically gothic furniture and fashion items that also come with this game pack, I guess it was obvious I would cave and get it eventually. I figured it would be worth it even if I only bought it for the build and fashion items and completely ignored the vampires as I wasn't sure how I felt about them potentially harassing my mortal Sims and didn't like to think I'd have to be on high alert every night to scare off Vlad. But honestly it's ended up being my most favorite Sims pack I've ever bought!

Buying the pack gives you the additional world of Forgotten Hollow, which is perfectly spooky and always shrouded in mist and darkness so it's the ideal place for your vampires to live. Literally my only complaint about this world is that it's too small, I want to move all of my Sims here but there's only 5 build lots! It also comes with two pre-made vampire families (they're actually the 3 characters on the game cover) and usually I don't bother with the pre-made Sims but I've loved playing with these guys so much!

Vlad's house

First up is Vladislaus Straud, and he gets a bad rep in Simmer circles so he was the first character I checked out when I got the game. And it's his character that absolutely convinces me that this Vampires pack was made by really big vampire fans, or they did a ton of research because the attention to detail is incredible!

The vampires in the game have two forms, their regular day to day look, and their 'dark form' which appears when they bite. Vlad's 'dark form' is based on Nosferatu, the first vampire movie ever made in 1922 (and arguably still the best!) It's basically Dracula, but they didn't have the copyright to make Dracula so they made it anyway but changed the names and a few other details. Because of this, plus the fact it's a German Expressionist movie, it has one of the most unique and distinctive visual identities of any vampire movie ever made, and despite being completely silent it's just as entrancing today as it was 99 years ago. I'm going a bit off topic, but I just really love that they made Vlad into Count Orlok! It's fairly niche and a detail more casual players wouldn't pick up on which makes it even more special, as it's like they were really aiming this pack at Vampire enthusiasts! I also love that despite clearly being an old man Vlad is labeled in the game as a 'young adult' which I'm convinced is a reference to another vampire movie What We Do In The Shadows, specifically this scene with Vladislav:

Vlad's house itself is also incredibly detailed. At first glance it has a really odd layout, but in Bram Stoker's novel Dracula's castle is deliberately supposed to be confusing and disorientating which is how Jonathan Harker gets lost in it. Not to mention that genuine old European castles have weirdly shaped rooms that don't seem to lead anywhere and nonsensical layouts because they've been built on and expanded so much by the various owners over the centuries. A huge castle was a sign of wealth, it didn't matter if you didn't use parts of it, and it's not like they had the kind of designated room styles we have nowadays to fill it. I only explain this because I've just seen a lot of Simmers complain about Vlad's house, and I'm guessing it's because they either don't understand what these old European buildings are like, or are completely unfamiliar with vampire lore so I wanted to take a moment to explain it. Because that's what thrilled me SO MUCH about this game pack - the people that created it either REALLY did their research, or are vampire nerds too!

My favorite characters are actually the other family included in the game, specifically Caleb who is 100% a mid-00s era Emo and I love him for that. He lives with his sister Lilith who has a bit of a Gothabilly vibe with her Betty bangs. Lilith's life aspiration is to raise a vampire family, and Caleb wants to be a good vampire and find a way to survive without drinking the blood of humans 🥺 I tell you I am weak for Caleb, and he's become one of my most played Sims and befriended my main family. He's just perfect.

Caleb visiting my main Sim family doing his vampire thing, and drinking blood plasma from a fruit because he's trying to go vegan

I wasn't sure if I wanted to write about my Sims game, but I'm still so excited about this pack I just had to. It's a weird feeling because on the one hand I really want to talk about Sims stuff because I love it so much and it provides me with such great escapism which I've really needed this past year. But on the other hand, with the simulated life and creativity aspects it feels so personal and I get shy about sharing that - these characters are my OCs, I have stories, backgrounds, and lore that I've created for them in my head, and I'm not sure how much of that I want to put out there, you know? But I'd like to be brave and share a little now and then, especially when it's about new-to-me packs and such (although I've managed to collect a lot of them this year with all of the sales EA have 😬) But anyway! I really can't recommend the Vampires pack enough if you're interested in vampire lore, it does it really well! And I also recommend it if, also like me, you just want to live out your best emo life. 

Down where the gulls dance driftwood lying drying for the fire

One of my favorite things about this time of year are the wild seals that turn up on the beaches to have their pups. It's usually a very busy beach at any other time of year, it's used for some kind of military training, but everything just comes to a complete stop for a few weeks to give the seals their peace. I've been coming to see them every year, and it's sad that they've had to put fences up because some people can't keep their hands to themselves, but it's still a really incredible experience and something I'm so lucky to have on my doorstep.